BITCH

I have a new blog now....my how I've changed....



Good. Evil. Fun.

Beautiful Child

Oh my God...I am in Love mit Stevie Nicks...i love her voice, her persona, her free spirit...




Beautiful child
Beautiful child
You are a beautiful child
And I am a fool once more


You fell in love when I was only ten
The years disappeared
Much has gone by since then
I bite my lip, can you send me away
You touch
I have no choice
I have to stay
I had to stay


Sleepless child
There is so little time
Your eyes say yes
But you don't say yes
I wish that you were mine


You say it will be harder in the morning
I wait for you to say, just go
Your hands, held mine so few hours
And I'm not a child anymore


I'm not a child anymore
I'm tall enough
To reach for the stars
I'm old enough
To love you from afar
To trusting... yes?
But then women usually are


I'm not a child anymore
No, I'm not a child, oh no
Tall enough to reach for the stars
I will do
As I'm told
Even if I never hold you again
I never hold you again

Missing...

I am missing this boy that is so far away and the best kisser in the world...i don't want anybody else but him...and i have to wait until july to see him? and then only for three weeks before he goes to malaysia and then eventually australia??



why is it always something??

If he is emotionally available, he is physically unavailable and if he is physically unavailable then he is emotionally unavailable....why can't i ever have both?


and what frustrates me even more is knowing that evn though i may be able to find someone else after i see him for those brief three weeks and we begin our separate lives, my heart? my heart will be his and he knows that...i am not easily swayed into giving parts of myself to people and allowing myself to love them but once i do, i fall fast and hard. And i have fallen fast for this guy, i haven't seen him for a year but when we talk it's for hours...i could go on and on about him...i remember every little thing he says...


You know who we are like, me and him? we're like Lula and sailor from the movie 'Wild Heart' by David lynch. That's what we're like...he fits Sailor's character perfectly and i understand how Lula felt about Sailor...




Sailor: Did I ever tell ya that this here jacket represents a symbol of my individuality, and my belief in personal freedom?
Lula: About fifty thousand times

Avec ma mother

So...today i hung out with my mother and ma tante. Which is something i don't usually do...i dunno, i guess it's just that the whole 'family-fun!!' thing is not my scene....but it actually turned out to be fun....PLUS i got to wear my lolita sunglasses






this is what i wore today...







...and ate...we went to this mediterranean ristorante...very nice...but i couldn't finish!!!
:)
nonetheless, a perfect-o day in every way

hmmm...

I dunno what i am doing, i feel so random, i'm always feeling bored and dreamy and tired. It's not that i feel sad, or bad or angry. I appreciate all the privelages i have and how lucky i am but i just feel displaced and bored...i need to find something to do, this is like the calm before the storm...-I hate waking up in the morning...

zola's wise words

when i look at the world, i often feel very disconnected to it. so much so that it's beginning to effect my grades.

i dunno what it is,...is it because i'm an artist?? why do i feel so detached from my generation??why do i drink so much wine before i go to bed?? why must i always have a hangover whn i wake up, even on school days??

Émile Zola said something interesting once,

"The artist is nothing without gift, but the gift is nothing without work."

that is true, c'est vrai.

mais, i am worried, that since i am stifled in this perfect world of indulgence i have been living in most my life, when will i ever get the chance to work?? i want to feel exactly what is to finally be free to express yourself the way you can only dream about and pretend to.

i wnat a chance to test his theory,

when will i get my turn?? Quand??

one of my heroes...

Jean-Michel Basquiat... i dunno...i just love him...and he's dead now but his art is still here with us....

hmmmmmm....

what do you do when you think you like your best friend in THAT way??

and that said best friend is...occupied at the momento???

"come on over Valerie-Valerie!!"

pretty killer

this is the most amazing song...this song is what i will listen to at the next new years...


"pretty killer,
little crime,
dancing with another guy


there's no more 'come on Eileen'
no more dj's to save my live
what could i do to threaten him?
i forgot to take my knife"

EDIE♥

U know who was gorgeous???



Edie Sedgwick was gorgeous.

bla bla bla

I think I'm losing my religion...i dunno, as far as God is concerned, i have so many doubts and questions and noone has any answers. yet when i try to decipher things for myself, i'm told i'm wrong.

"Blasphemy!!"

Sin sin sin

floating

i am so done with the world. Not in an angry way but in a tired, beat, serene, sad but at peace with the world way. i just feel like floating away, sleeping all day, getting wiser, dreaming, chilling, sleeping. Euphoria.

I'm so fucking naive.

keep my mind off...

i need stuff to keep my mind off stuff i shouldn't be dreaming about...it's like i'm addicted to feeling like shit and so far its been a shitty experience. there is this aura...i dunno, like this 'vibe' that i tend to send out in stressful situations and later on i feel like a dumbass and i'm so frustrated...i feel reckless and irresponsible...i have to start making sense and getting things together....

I want to watch across the Universe

i want to watch Across the Universe. It's supposed to be really good....i'm excited, prepped and ready. Okay, what i just said was random but yeah...i wish i lived in a movie sometimes...it sounds schizo, but i feel like i have so many personalities(wtf) and i feel a million different characters every day

Disco Pigs

Runt: What's the color of love, Pig?
Pig: What sort of love, love?
Runt: Don't know. But you know the way things, they got a color. I wonder what the color of love is.
Pig: Jesus, Runt. You could read a thousand think books and never know the answer to that quiz.
Runt: It's be a good one to know, ah?
Pig: It'd be brilliant, Runt. It's around here somewhere.


if you don't watch this movie before you die, you will be rolling over in your grave. You will end up just as the king in Hamlet-you need to quench your thirst.

watch this movie.

It's funny how beautiful people are when they're walking out the door.

i feel lost and i feel like i can't tell anyone....i give up so much time, i', so terrified...i'm insane.

sometimes i feel like jumping off my balcony...too bad my mother had it sealed.

i dunno, i feel really incontent....

it's so strange....

It's funny how beautiful people are when they're walking out the door.

juhu

sooo......I'm going to study psychology...hey,at least its interesting...


i dunno....i feel like my whole life is being mapped out for me...but its better than being forced to study law.....


i dunno...i guess I'm just one gigantic pushover...


what a loser


LOSER=ME

Streetart Reportage

this is another one by marcus, RESPECT!!

Marcus Weber - Lazy Sunday

i really like this video...its so koolio...yeo thats my word...anyway-i love how the whole video feels so chilled yet there is so much going on...and he has such a kool room :)...and he is my friend :D

oh no

oh no...i feel so confused lately...I'm glad no one actually reads this shit i always write....


i was watching Sex & the city....i dunno-I'm having vomit thoughts, like all the thoughts in my head are just tumbling out...


is it possible to become permanently damaged because of previous experiences in your life??i mean, i don't care about him anymore but a big part of who i am or was changed....i told him first.....


I'm so sad.


I'm always so sad.


pourquoi??